By Mark Kenyon:
The first step in recovering from any addiction is to admit you have a problem. Today, I’m making that admission. But to be honest, I’m not really trying to recover either. I am a whitetail addict.
Every single day I am thinking of, planning for, or dreaming about whitetails. Big bodied, wide racked, stinkin, ruttin, whitetails. Gives me shivers down the spine just thinking about it.
As a whitetail addict, I’m inclined to do some pretty strange and crazy things. Things that make my fiance shake her head and my co-workers question my sanity. That said, today I’m going to own up. Below are my confessions. The 30 sure signs that I have a problem (although in my opinion it’s a good problem). Once you read through mine, add your own deer crazy confessions in the comments section. At the end of the week I’ll pick one of you that comments and will send you a brand new Trophy Ridge React Sight! (Speaking of, read my review of the Trophy Ridge React here)
1. I own more whitetail hunting DVDs than all other genres of movies combined that I’ve owned in my entire life.
2. My fiance claims it’s impossible to have a conversation with me in the car because I am constantly looking out the windows searching for deer
3. I can often be found (far too often) laying in the back yard, crouching behind a spotting scope watching deer behind the house, with several cameras and sets of binoculars laid out in a circle around me.
4. Cool summer nights get me fired up, as it’s a sure sign that hunting season is on the way. To commemorate these first cool nights, I’ve been known to put on camo and stalk my dog in the house.
5. The most exciting thing about the opening of the college football season is that it means deer hunting season is just around the corner.
6. I have a walk-in closet. No, not the kind your wife wants in your house. Mine has been converted to a man closet and is filled with camo, arrows, harnesses, and every other piece of hunting gear you can think of.
7. I’ve tried to convince my fiance that we need to plan our future “baby plans” to ensure that there will be no birth giving during hunting season (Not sure if my fiance is buying into this one though haha)
8. My idea of the perfect “guys night” is getting pizza, some cold beer, and sitting down to watch hunting dvds, swap stories, and discuss plans for the season.
9. I’ve managed to establish a recurring “date night”, involving my fiance and I driving around the countryside with a video camera and spotting scope while scouting for velvet bucks. I do close the night out with ice cream though.
10. I always keep a 5 years backlog of Deer & Deer Hunting and North American Whitetail Magazines stacked in my office. I’m for sure a hoarder in the making.
11. I’m currently in the middle of reading six different deer hunting books, literally six.
12. Every single time I go into a grocery store, I head to the magazine section and if there is ever a decent hunting magazine I buy it. For some reason I don’t subscribe, I prefer to pay $5 a pop for seven different magazines a month. It’s stupid, I know.
13. The only reason I know anything about fertilizer, lime, or seeding rates is because of deer food plots.
14. About 8 out of every 10 t-shirts I own has a deer head on it.
15. This past spring my co-workers believed that I had headed to Iowa for a four day vacation where I would be looking to purchase a new shed for the backyard. #ShedHunting.
16. I have a deer head floor lamp and a deer head desk lamp.
17. I have underwear with deer on them.
18. The invitations for my upcoming wedding have a set of deer antlers on them.
19. I once had a dream in which I was climbing into a treestand, while having this dream I physically sat up in bed and began acting like I was climbing (so says my fiance.) Dead serious.
20. My friends and family have a clear understanding that no events needing my attendance are to be planned the first two weeks of November. Ever.
21. I have a buck grunt ring tone on my iPhone.
22. The only time I do my own laundry is when it’s time to wash my hunting clothes in scent-free detergent.
23. I’ve spent 15 straight hours in a tree. Many, many times.
24. I’ve probably added more new camouflage to my closet than regular clothing over the past few years.
25. I haven’t eaten beef in my own home for over a year. Venison is the only red meat in this household.
26. I’ve nearly filled my DirectTV DVR to capacity, entirely with recorded hunting TV shows.
27. I buy jumbo packs of AA batteries at almost every opportunity. #TrailCameraObsessed
28. I have more deer photos on my computer than of my friends, family, fiance or myself.
29. I use make up remover. Don’t judge – it’s to get the camo face paint off after my hunts.
30. I have a deer hunting mix CD that plays on repeat in my truck all through hunting season. Highlights include Fred Bear by Ted Nugent, Buck Fever by Rhett Atkins, and Da Turdy Point Buck.
Bonus: I woke up this morning at 5 AM so that I could seed and fertilize my food plot this morning before going to the office for work.
So lets hear your confessions! Share your craziest deer tendencies, habits, purchases, etc in the comments section and one of you will win a Trophy Ridge React sight!